Voicemail

[archerandfamilyman]

This is Clint's voicemail, leave me a message at the beep.


[Need to talk to muse or mun drop a line here.

Comments

In front of his door, 12/25

[expionage]

[When Clint wakes up on Christmas, he will see a note attached to his door with a throwing dagger. Because love.

The note says: Look down.

When he does so, he'll find a small box that looks like it would include clothing. Inside it, there's a very nice black sweater made of the softest wool and some finger tabs for his archery made out of soft black leather. There's another note: It's cold. Stay warm. Also, saw you with a wooden bow again? Thought you could use these. - Наташа"]

Christmas

[pursuitofcappiness]

[ There's a box for Clint that contains a nice new quiver. There's a note that says:

"Hey Clint,

Sorry I couldn't fill this one with trick arrows, you'll just have to do that yourself.

Merry Christmas.

-Steve. ]

After her talk with Tony

[expionage]

[She doesn't even give him time to slink away. As soon as she's done talking to Tony, she heads back to her apartment in Epiphany and looks for Clint.]

Tell me how it happens.

Re: After her talk with Tony

[archerandfamilyman]

[Clint has turned a small corner of his room into a workbench and he was there working on various projects, arrows, hand carved things, smoothing the bow he'd gained after arriving here. When Nat comes in and asks for the full story, he is tempted to turn off his hearing aids, not because he doesn't want to hear what Nat has to say but because he doesn't want to hear the story again. He lived it, told it to others and every time it still hurts. But he doesn't. He simply turns to face her and sighs softly.]

There was an Avenger's level threat...a big one...and for various reasons...we weren't ready...we lost...bad. Like half the world gone for five years. My family was gone...billions and billions of people were gone.

But we found a way to bring everyone back. One last mission...we split into teams and went racing through time. You and I were sent to get an object called the Soul Stone and in order to get it there was a cost....a soul for a soul.

[He pauses his voice cracking as he remembers.]

I wanted to be the one to make the play...I was ready. I'd lived a good life...gotten my second chance. You disagreed.

[expionage]

[If she wasn't so very angry with both him and Yelena, she might be a bit scared. His face is far too easy for her to read and she can see the pain on his face, in the way he holds himself and hear it in the sigh.

Not great.

Although, if he ran without telling her about this, she'd hunt him down and they both know how that would turn out.

She's quiet as she listens to the story as he recites it like he's pulling it from his soul. And, honestly, she knows he is.]

We went through time. To when?

[She'll address his stupidity about who gets to be a sacrifice later.]

[archerandfamilyman]

[Clint pauses thinking over what Tony had said at the time.]

2014...the stones we were looking for got....destroyed...in our time, 2023, the threat he won and then did the smart thing and destroyed the powerful objects. Time travel was the only way to get them back...to save everyone. Tony and Bruce and Scott..they worked out how to make it happen.

Some went to 2012 to get the stones that were there and we went to 2014 and then split off to find the Soul Stone. The guardian wouldn't let us have it unless we paid the price. One of us had to die.

[Clint looks down at his hands and notices they are shaking...his hands never shake....shaking hands means missing a shot and the one thing his mother left him with was "Don't Miss" But reliving this seems to get harder every time he tells it.]

It was a hell of a fight...one of our best and that's saying something because we've had some fights Nat...but I was determined...I'd lived my life...you hadn't yet.

[expionage]

[She listens to his story, watching him carefully. She knows him way too well to miss the shaking hands and what that means. She's not sure that she wouldn't be as distressed as he is if their positions were reversed.

Only, if there's something she knows, it's that Clint's family is the most important thing in the universe to him. And while she's a part of that, his children and wife... they're important to her. And if her death could get them and billions of innocent people back.

It's a no-brainer. One of them is more disposable that the other.]

Then the right choice was made. My ledger is finally cleared.

[She's trying really hard not to think about what that actually means. Her throat tightens, but she shakes her head, shoving down the urge to cry. That might happen later, but not in front of him.]

You're an idiot.

[archerandfamilyman]

That's not what....dammit Nat...I didn't take that shot because I saw the same thing in you that Phill and Laura saw in me.

All I've ever wanted for you is to live a good life and for some damm reason you refuse to let yourself.

[Clint looks at his sister his eyes damp.]

You made me let you go...I had you in my grip...I could have flipped us...just one pull and you would have been able to see Yelena when she came back. But you asked me to let you go...and I've never been able to fucking say no to you.

Instead I had to tell her what happened after she tried to kill me over it. I had to go to Tony's funerals and your memorial service and watch Steve age. And now I come here and everyones back and you won't let yourself have a damm dress..because what you still aren't good enough...well that's billshit Nat. You are my sister and if wanting what's best for you first makes me an idiot then fine I am one.

[Clint takes a deep breath]

I'm not selling what you did short......I can't but you have to understand that for Yelena and I...seeing you fucking hurts because it just reminds us both of the life you didn't get to live. Losing my family, which includes you is always going to hurt.

[expionage]

Some of us aren't destined for that.

[She can't say that she doesn't want to be happy. She does. She does so much. Having a family, children, of her own is all she wants, but she'll never have it. The Red Room took that chance from her when she became a Widow. She's never let herself truly think about that loss, but it's there and she'd be lying if she said it didn't affect her self-worth in the long run.

She lets Clint's words sit between them, heavy and loaded, for a long moment. It's tense and ugly, but it's a truth for him. She can see it in his face, hear it in his voice.

She nods and gives him a small smile. It's not happy, but she's resigned with her fate.]

I'd do it again, in a heartbeat. You and Yelena have each other now, here and back home. Good.

[She takes a step towards him, but steps back again. Everything is a huge, raw nerve and she's not sure she's able to touch anyone, let alone Clint like this.

And then that thought actually sinks in and she shakes her head, steps forward and taps him between the eyes lightly.]

I have a life. I have a family. Stop discounting both of them.

[archerandfamilyman]

[Clint respects that things are tense now. He's sure he wouldn't be able to touch her right now either.]

I'm not...I just want to see you live Nat...for a little longer than you did.

Please......

[expionage]

[Things are only as tense as they let them be. And, well, she's never been afraid of conflict, so she's going to push through this, even if it makes her uncomfortable.

She won't go back to the time before they were friends.]

Clint, all time here for us is borrowed time. We both know that if you hadn't gone against orders, I wouldn't be here at all.

I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't scare me a bit, but we live dangerously. At least this way, I know that my life and death was for something good. Not everyone gets that.

un: iamironman | text

[ironypoisoned]

[ Tony wordlessly sends an invitation to a Valentine’s party that he scribbled on. ]

OOC: [ Helpful Link to the Log ]